Aurora

Your birthday is today. You would have been 26. There are so many things that we were supposed to be doing today.

We should be going to Gandhi for your birthday dinner.
We should be going shopping for your traditional pair of birthday shoes.
We should be talking about cute boys.
We should be doing a celebratory chocolate cake shot.
We should be having conversations that made people around us blush.
We should be singing bad karaoke.
We should be playing pool, also badly.

I'll just miss you instead.

I will be very distracted today. It will be next to impossible to focus on work. Maybe I should have taken the day off. But what would I do then? There are so many things I wish I could tell you. I wish you could hang out with me and Lu. You'd love Lu. She's so awesome and I wish that she didn't have to grow up not knowing you. It's also strange to me that the man I love will never meet you. That two people that are so important to me never even knew each other.

I took this picture of a drink umbrella back in March 2006. On March 22, to be exact. I remember because it was the night before your surgery. I took you to P.F. Chang's for a good-bye dinner for your tumor. We were weird like that. I remember that we had a great time. We made the waiter blush every time he approached our table. He was a good sport about it and made a couple of jokes back.

We both ordered a mai-tai. Our drinks came with a slice of pineapple and little umbrellas. About half way through dinner, I decided to tuck my umbrella into my ponytail. I looked up as I was trying to get it to stay put in my hair and we both just started to laugh. You were trying to do the same thing with your umbrella in your own hair.

I took the picture that night and had intended on posting about it the next day, but for some reason, I never got around to it. We used to do stuff like that all of the time. We would tell people it was because we spent too much time with each other and we were starting to become just one person.

I would give anything to be able to spend a little time with you right now.

This is a re-post of what I wrote 2 years ago, with some slight edits. So much has changed and yet so much remains the same.

Maybe Not

Definitely not a flattering pic, but awesome nonetheless.

Thanks go out to Dragon for capturing the moment and creating this "inspirational" keepsake.

After the Storm

View from behind the garage, looking towards the beach.



View from behind the garage, looking towards the beach.



View from the house looking towards the desert.



Inside the house looking towards the beach.



Inside the house looking towards the beach.



View from the beach.



View from the beach.

Fucking lame.

Insomnia... or... We are not amused A photo essay

4 a.m.
I can't sleep.



I am not amused.



I am still not amused.



Ditto.



Guess what?



There is no amusement in this picture, either.



Aaaarrrrrggghhhh!!!!!



Ok. I'm slightly amused.



But not very.



At least I'm colorful.



Though not for long.



Hey! I glow!!!



Like fluorescent seaweed or something.



Alas. I am once again...Unamused.



Ok. I'm done.



6 a.m.
Bang!

Hmmmm.....

So, I feel...funny. No, that's not the word I'm looking for. Strange? No that's not it, either. I dunno. I just feel like something is about to happen. But I have no idea what.

Few people know this, but I used to have pretty severe panic attacks a few years ago. I would just suddenly be overcome with an incredible feeling of dread. A sense of fear and anxiety that was so overpowering, I couldn't function until I called all the people closest to me to make sure that they were ok. I felt as if there was something terribly wrong, but I never knew what. I was wrong 99% of the time, thank god.

I kinda feel that right now, but it's not nearly as severe or all encompassing. I don't feel like I have to make sure that everyone's ok. I just feel slightly anxious. Kinda like.... the night before Christmas, when you can't sleep properly. Just not as happy.

Butterflies in my stomach. I suppose it's anticipation. Of what? I'm not sure.

Imagine That...

20 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Poor (Failure) Take the test!

Shocking, I know.

127 As a 1930s husband, I am Very Superior Take the test!

But apparently, I would have fared well as a dude in the 30's.

Book Meme

Stolen from Esther.

"The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed."

1) Bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own blog.


1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare - I've read a lot, but not all
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath - I'm actually in the middle of re-reading this. Again.
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Ronald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Hmmm.... Only 37, higher than average but lower than I expected. Guess I need to hit up the bookstore this weekend.

Further Proof of How Smooth I Am...

While rubbing lotion onto my arm, I walked into the edge of the bathroom door and cut my elbow. Five minutes after that I slipped and fell down the stairs. (I was wearing socks and the stairs are carpeted.) Luckily, I was almost to the bottom and didn't hurt anything other than my ego.

I am the most graceful person EVER!

Good Luck With That...

You can edit a blog, but you can't actually re-write history. What happened, happened. You can't change it.

But hey, nice try. Fucking bitch.

Bored

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